I'm a fatty.

Oh no! After sitting on my assets for a whole month drinking nothing but coke and eating junk I'm starting to get a belly! Why didn't anyone warn me that could happen?!

It seems I've lost what was almost a 6 pack. I was real proud of that too. It was deffinitly there (just not real hard or anything) at the start of the summer and gasp, it's gone. That makes me a sad (and fat) panda.

So tomorrow I start tryin' to get it back. I probably won't succeed because I'm a lazy what-not but I'm gonna try until I'm bored anyway! I'd do it tonight but I'm sleepy which goes toward the lazy idea.

So that's why.

So the last few days I've had a stomach ache. I figured it was because I had barely eaten the last few days and most of what I did eat consisted of grease and caffeine. But I was wrong! Today the real reason for the pain popped it's little head out. Here's a photo of what happened.


I think I'll name him Oswald.

Old Kiwi?

I promised my next blog would be jolly and looks like I was right. But don't worry. I'm actually happy. I hate being upset. It's such a gross feeling. And now to introduce to you... The Dragon Fruit!
I discovered this at Safeway yesterday. It was $1.99. I'd never seen a fruit like this before. Sort of like a mutated apple. All the cashier could tell me about it was that I'm not to eat the peel (which is good 'cause I would have just bit right into it, had no one warned me). But what was even more intriquing about it is what it looks like inside!Isn't that crazy?! It's like a kiwi that's gone all old and grey. It sort of tastes like it too but there's nearly no flavor. Probably because of how they grow it. The same reason raspberries in your back yard always taste better than store bought ones. The larger you grow it, the less flavor it has. Or rather, it has the same amount of flavor but it's spread over a larger area.

Not that any of that matters of course. None of you can taste it from the picture. Just thought I'd introduce you all to this marvel incase you had never come across one before.

NOTE: Blogger keeps putting the pictures sideways. I can't figure it out.

I swear my next blog will be jolly.

Okay, I get that people don't care about me being sick. I don't expect anyone to. The only place I bring it up is on my blog and even when something changes I rarely write about it. Any time I try to bring it up with someone they change the subject anyway. Part of that is my fault because I rarely bring it up or I downplay it. The other part is because I have lousy friends. But I don't care. Not talking about it doesn't make it worse or make it better.

But! Is it really neccessary for you people (not everyone of course) to make me feel so damn guilty about it. I'm not asking for sympathy. I don't even let people help me off the ground when I fall. Any time someone brings it up I end up sounding like this pathetic loner trying to get attention. You guys won a long time ago. I won't talk about it anymore.

Why's this so hard?

Man I'm exhausted. I went to bed last night around 11pm and I didn't fall asleep until 6am this morning. I layed in my bed for 7 hours staring at the ceiling. Ever since I saw that shrink I haven't felt right. I sort of expected that to happen because it's what I do but I really wish I could get over it. And even if I do get over it and go back to my normally happy self, I have to see her again in a week for a twice as long appointment. How exactly does bringing up all the times you were hurt in your past make your future better anyway? I mean she must know what she's doing or she wouldn't be a doctor but do I really have to relive it? Sorry to everyone if I haven't been much fun to talk to lately. I think I might have made a few people uncomfortable last night on MSN and I'll try not to do that anymore. When I get depressed I tend to rationalize the world and while it seems like a crappy attempt to be insightful, it's just me putting my mind on other things. As soon as I feel like my old self I'll make another post.

Even newester picture.

Well finally finished the skull. Took way longer and I don't like it nearly as much as the heart. Ah well. Still better in real life.

Newest picture.

So I woke up this with this serious urge to draw a heart and a skull. Sort of enforcing my two passions I guess. The Arts and Medicine. The heart is so cool anyway. I don't know how anyone could be a neurologist. Even when everything is shutting down, the nerves still look the same. (Well, maybe the myelan lining gets eaten away but still boring). But look at the heart. A heart attack is a freakin' roller coaster. Muscles are spasoming, blood is squirtin' out in all directions. Whoo!


Anyway, here's the heart that I drew this morning. If you hate it, I don't care. Looks better in person anyway.

I'm back with non existant lattes!

So it's been 3 days since I wrote something on this here blog of mine and really I only wrote one good blog entry on monday. This week hasn't felt right for me. Every now and then I get a little lost in my own thoughts and for reasons I don't actually know, I can't seem to write about any of that on here. But as always, perspective kicks in and I'm back to my ever happy self. I guess my psychiatrist appointment got me a little depressed. I won't really get into that. What this entry is about is:

Pumpkin Spice Latte's!!!

Oh that's right. The most amazing seasonal drink ever created by Starbucks is coming back! The ingredients arrived about 2 weeks ago at most locations so that the staff can be ready to make hundreds of these delicious drinks once they start selling them. I believe you can buy them official in September, though don't quote me on that. It's the only starbucks drink I've ever enjoyed and I'm a lucky bastard because my room mate works in a starbucks! Which means that every time I drive him to work or pick him up again to bring him home, I get a steamy hot Pumpkin Spice Latte put in my hand. Life is good when you can feed your addictions.

Mmm-mm. This is goods.

To Joe.

Joe, stop reading my blog and the blogs of people that comment on it. Thanks.

Miss spelt post cards make me giggle.

This post sort of makes me feel guilty because I stole Morgans post cards like 4 months ago and still haven't given them back. I'll give 'em back soon! I promise!

Anyway! This is a post card my friend Hailey sent me a long time ago and it still makes me giggle. They spelt Glacier wrong if you hadn't noticed. Enjoy!

I have a noice house.

Man it was a beautiful day today. I actually mowed the lawn! Normally that wouldn't be a big deal but since I clean the house nearly every weekend while my room mates... well don't, I always tell someone else to take care of outside. I mean all you have to do is mow it and maybe trim the bushes and water the 4 hanging pots we have and you're done. But guess what! None of that has been done in nearly 3 months. Yep, no one does anything 'round here so I took care of it and it was actually a very enjoyable day.

It took me 2 hours to trim the bush. It's about 6 meters long and a meter high and when you leave it that long to grow, it gets pretty wild. But now my yard is soooo nice and I met some neihbors and this cute girl that works at a near by Safeway happened to walk past on her way home so I introduced myself and we had a chat. All in all, a good day. But now I'm in a serious cleaning mood so I'm gonna start cleaning the washrooms. I don't clean them nearly enough but ugh, I hate them.

Don't bother reading this.

Hello. My name is Mike and I'm a Coke-aholic.

Ugh, I feel sick. For some reason I thought it'd be fun to drink 6 cans of coke and 6 cans of ginger ale and a can of dr. pepper (which I hate) over the last 5 hours. I think I might vomit. BUT! I am full of energy. :D. I lurve being all gittery. Makes writing comics soooo easy but makes drawing them very hard. Some of the comics I made before (that were lost when my computer crashed) had to be redone because my hand shook too much while inking them.

Anyway, this post has no purpse. A post for posts sake. So uh... yeah. Bye friends!

So now it's not in my head?

Well I got to see another doctor today and he assures me that my sickness is not a result of stress and isn't simply in my head at all. He gave me the longest and most thorough examination I've ever had and he discovered things that no one else had. For example, my left pupil doesn't dialate or contract normally. And in certain positions my body loses it's ability to keep balance on the left side. And a few various other things that all incorporate the left side. Oh! And one patch on my torso that goes in and out of numbness (has gone numb 3 times since it started 3 months ago) won't respond to a single test. He says my cerrebellum is deffinitly involved and so is the lower part of my spine. So I get more tests done soon! Yay. Ah well. Hopefully I'll get an answer soon.

I live in such a pretty town.

I lurve trees. I don't really know why. I just love 'em. No matter how depressed I am I could walk over to a near by park and just walk about the trees or sit under one and draw and all of a sudden I'm happies. I will hopefully one day move away from this city to a smaller town but I do love the trees. These are 4 pictures taken with my phone from my orthodontists office. Check out these trees!!!

He's Back Home!!!

Peter got to come home from the hospital this morning. It's very exciting. I didn't post anything yesterday (his second day in the hospital) but it was a very very good day for his healings. They took off all the tapes and gauze's and the like and he had a shower and they started weening him off morphine and onto oral medications. And he can talk. Before his mouth and tongue and all was swollen but now he's doing a lot better.

So today we got to take him home and basically he just slept all day but he's doing good. So if any of you actually know him, wish me a speedy recovery. I'll let him know.

Peter's Surgury.

Well this morning was my brother, Peters, surgury. It took about 4 hours and they pulled the front of his face forward as well as moved his jaw back. It's the exact same surgury that I'll be getting in a few months (and actually should have had today as well). I spent the whole day with him until they kicked me out 'cause visiting hours were over. But I'll be there tomorrow at 7 and I'll have his laptop for him.

I feel so bad for him. We've had 2 surguries at the same time before and I've had 3 surguries by myself and this is the first ever time that he's had surgury at a time when I didn't have the same one. I can't believe how hard it is to see him like that. He's doing all right so far. Right away his nose started bleeding a lot so they had to gauze it but after about 3 hours it had mostly stopped with only a few minor bleeds after. He didn't notice though because he was so tired and I was no help at all at letting him sleep.

The problem was the combination of drugs in his system from the surgury itself and the pain relief after. When they added the morphine he started falling asleep very quickly but his body would forget to keep him breathing when he fell asleep. Within 20 seconds of dozing off his stat monitor would alarm. I had to wake him up a couple times a minute to tell him to breath. After about an hour and a half though enough of the drugs were out of him that he could sleep for 20 minutes before I had to wake him. Now he sleeps fine but the anesthetic is waring off so he needs his morphine uped quite a bit and he has a button that gives him a quick shot if the pain gets that bad.

Ugh, I wish I was there now. Tomorrow I get to talk to the surgeon so we'll find out exactly what happened in surgury.

Peter is strong though. He cracked a few jokes (despite the fact his mouth is wired shut) and he drank some soup (with a turkey baster like suringe). I'm gonna get to bed. Stressful day. Night.

From the desk of Mike.

Dear Wendy's Ad Compain,

You're the most unclever and irritating people ever to get a pay check. Do you really think that annoying people with your commercials is the best way to advertise your product? It's bad enough that you have to keep the recipe for your chili secret just to keep people eating it. The time I spent working for your company was the worst half a year of my life and now you have to remind me of that hell every time I turn on the TV? Go to hell! You're not a special company! EVERY restaurant lets you specialize your burger! And the phrase "Now Wendy's is Open Late So You Can Eat Great, Even Late." Is the dumbest rhyme ever dreamt up by a babbling kindergarden student. Dave Thomas would be ashamed of you. Stop dickin' around while you're supposed to be working and actually do your jobs.



Love Mike.

First Painting Class!

Whoo! What a rush. I just spent the last 3 hours creating the worst picture in my painting class. But it was still fun, though I don't know anything. Every month you pay 32 bucks at a local paint store and you get a 3-6 hour course on how to paint a single painting. This was the first one for me and it was a pot with poppies in watercolor. I can't believe how bad mine came out. I finally did one really good leaf and one really good petal near the end of the class so I did at least learn something. Of course, the instructors version of the painting had drops of dew and little bits of dead leaf and so on to make it really realistic. But then again, he's the teacher. I would expect him to know it.

I'm not going to show you guys the picture for 2 reasons. It sucks and my scanner is currently not co-operating with me. And I don't want anyone saying something like "I'm sure it's a very fine picture" or something because believe me, it isn't. It barely looks like flowers. And considering I took 3 years of art in high school (I had an art class every day of high school) including one advanced painting course, I should know how to do it already. But my art teacher and I were pretty close that when she assigned the class to paint a picture of their hand, I drew a picture of a talking pair of boots and then sprinkled glitter on it and handed that in. I got an 80 on it. :D. I usually took drawing courses anyway. Despite the crap I post on here, I can actually draw a decent picture.

I very rarely did paintings and when I did they were just as bad but my teacher loved the modern stuff and thought it was neat. Hahaha. Anyway! I've boughten all the colors used in today's class and I'm going to paint these poppies over and over until they are perfect. Then you can see it.

Stupid people.

I'd like to once again thank Morgan for introducing my next blog topic. This one is a good old fashioned rant about stupid people.

Is it really neccessary to point out every disgusting thing that comes to mind these days? When describing tennis balls as small and fuzzy balls, do we really need to giggle? Are there no more people in this world that actually enjoy clean humor?

Every time someone says something about balls or hard or wet or practically any adjective in the dictionary, someone has to say something vulgar. Or what about any reference to a peice of anatomy. I guess all I'm saying is that I'm sick of people who have to turn everything dirty for no particular reason. Like for example, a strategically placed T-Red about to be devoured by the Mikeasaurus. Yes, I had noticed it to (when pointed out from my stupid giggling room mates) but it doesn't cloud my view of the picture. If they want to see it that way, by all means. But don't point it out.

But to correct the 'mistake' I have gone ahead and edited the picture and replaced my T-Rex to make an example of what would happen to this vulgar people, had I the resources. Now everyone is happy.

Mikeasaurus! Rawr!

I luuuurve MS Paint. One of the most amazing programs ever. And with this amazing tool, I was able to create for you all an artistic rendering of the evil and horrible Mikeasaurus getting ready to chow down on his favorite food of all time: T-Rex's. Realistic, yes? You can barely tell it's not a photograph.

Mmmm. Orange Slurpee.

This post is actually my response to Morgans comment that the current template I have is fine and that I should quit complaining.

I'm not complaining!!! :P. I lurve this template which is why I chose it when I created the blog. BUT, I can't stands default templates. One day I'm going to be flipping through various peoples blogs when I'll come across this template again. Oh what shame.

I've never been good at using the default settings of... well anything really. I'm my own man!!! Conformity is for squares!!! And so on.

But since I'm already doing a million projects, I'm going to leave it at the default template. And though I want to change it, I still likes it. So Morgan is a big silly face and I'm out of orange slurpee. To the slurpee mobile!

I could run.

I've had an eventful day, not that anyone watching would agree. I walked! I was able to lift my feet properly for 2 hours today. They still felt heavy but dammit they moved. I was uber giddy. Well, until it stopped. But it goes to support my jackass doctors diagnosis that it's post tramatic. The exact moment that my feet started working was the exact moment that I convinced my sister to put in her 2 weeks notice to leave the job she absolutely hates. So either that put my mind at ease for a short time or it was a major coincidence. Don't get me wrong though. I still hate my neurologist.

I ran today though for the first time in months. A very very very good and stupid run with my arms and legs flailing about. I do feel bad for my dad though. He thinks a lot of what's goin' on in my head is his fault (which is possibly true) and he wants me to just yell at him or even hit him but I won't. It's his wifes fault. I mean if someone put me in a room with a mad gunner and I get shot, it's not the person who locked me ins fault. It's the guy with the gun! So yes, my dad married her. But she's the one that beat on me. Ah well. I ran today so I'm happy.

Persevere. Robots.

I had planned to let this blog die as the person who convinced me to create it on blogspot essentially abandoned me. But I'm gonna suck it up and stick with the blog. I might even get around to finishing my template soon.

Anyway, what this post is really about is ROBOTS!! WHOOO!!!!

I have a very particular dream. Something I've had for a long time and one that my imagination has developed over the years. I want to be a very intelligent doctor. I want to be the doctor that people trust and don't end up writing nasty blog enteries about after their appointments (DAMN YOU DR. ROBERTS!!!). And I want to be this amazing doctor in a very small town. A clean town though. I don't want like a little hick town. Just a town in Canada surrounded by trees but is a relatively short drive away from a big city. And I don't want to live in the town. I just want to be employed there. I want to live outside of a small town with only a tiny dirt path to my house but really clean and surrounded by canopy trees that make a sort of tunnel. And I want my house to be surrounded by trees with plants with maybe a little orchardy thing with apple trees and cherries and raspberry bushes. Oh! And like deers and stuff that live near it.

But when you actually go into my house, I want a whole automated world just thrown at you. I love playing with electricity and wires and circuit boards and soldering irons and all that fun stuff. I don't have much knowledge in it yet but I want my house to have lots of little moving pieces all over. And I really want to have a floating robot greet you at the door. You'd knock on the door or ring the door bell and it would float over on it's fans and open the door and say stuff like.

"Welcome to Dr. Wards house. Is this a medical emergency or a friendly visit?" And he'd say it in a sinthetic british accent. And if they said "Friendly visit" then my little robot greeter would ask to take their coat and when they hang it on it's little hook it would fly away and toss it somewhere or if they said "medical emergency" it would say (in it's classy/soothing accent) "Please follow me to the exam room." And he would zip off to my own personal exam room that I have in my house and then wisp off to wake me up.

Oh! And if it was company I'd have it programed so that I could say "Could you please make coffee for our guests" or something and it would wisp off and bring back mugs and a pot of fresh coffee.


Okay, I know the whole thing with the robot (and I didn't even get into the other dozen robots I want to build or other little gizmo's in the house) is a little far fetched but it's completely do-able. I'm building my first robot now. It's a very very simple robot that doesn't require any programing since it's just a beginner one to sort of teach me about all the parts. It will have only two wheels, 4 sensors and like 17 LEDs. All it'll do is follow a line of tape. I put a trail of light colored tape on a dark colored floor and it'll follow it right to the end. And it can be made in a single day if I have all the pieces. The other robots that I plan to build are mostly already mapped out in my mind (and some on paper). I just don't have the programming knowledge to make them. But when I do, you'll be sure to find a blog bragging about them. Expect one about my first robot in the next few weeks (hopefully sooner).

Stressed?!

I just got back from my neurologists office. I really don't like him. He barely did an exam and he's decided that all of my symptoms are completely different than they were before. My chart says I have above average strength for a guy my size and today he was like "Wow, you're strong now. You're getting better." And I said that I never had weakness in my muscles 'cept the biceps and that was only rated a 4.5/5 so it was barely noticable and the rest of my muscles were fine. But my chart says that lots of my muscles are weak because of the moron residents at the UofA who didn't even test them before saying I was weak.

And then he had me walk and I walked exactly the same as I had the last 3 months (dragging my feet) and he said it was completely different and that all my symptoms are changing and it makes no sense. He's a moron. And when I told him that I have a very painful tingling occuring in my feet he didn't even write it down. He doesn't want another symptom because then he couldn't give him the brilliant diagnosis he figured out.

I'm stressed! Yep, that's what he figures. I'm actually going to assume that he's right. I'm getting a call in like a week with my first psychiratrist appointment. He took a list of possible stresses that I could have aquired over my life and the list sort of startled him and now he's pretty convinced that's the cause.

I didn't even go over a lot of it. Just things like a step dad that lived in the same house as me but didn't say a single word for almost a year and a half to me and my siblings and I were only allowed in the basement kitchen and bathroom of our own house and the rest was off limits.

Then there was the step mom that used to hit me regularily and toss me down the stairs and lock me outside in winter with no shoes or anything. She's now a diagnosed scizophrenic.

Then there was the best friend who tried to kill himself and wrote a note saying that I was the sole reason. He essentially loved me but since I wasn't gay and I had a girlfriend it didn't go so well. We got into a huge fight for about 4 hours and then he swallowed a bottle of pills. Weird thing is that when I called 911 and the ambulance came over and they had to pump his stomach, his dad hated me because of the ambulance bill. Like he wanted his son to die or something.

I didn't even get into stuff like the paternal side of my family cutting my siblings and me out of their life for almost a year because of something I said at my grandma's funeral when I was doped up on sedatives. (Long story).

Anyway, this list is gonna be long so I'll stop. Anyway, I hope talkin' to some guy will make me better. I have big plans for if I get better and it'd be nice to actually do them.